Learning to Fly - Post 5

Quote of the Day: "I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep."
- Robert Frost

I've spent a lot of time thinking lately. I'm not sure why because I really haven't had the time to think. I should have spent those precious few hours of free time catching up on sleep or maybe even attempting to have a life. Instead, I've been thinking...

Having these academic advising appointments with my residents is quite interesting. Talking to them about their major and their career plans definitely makes me think about my own career a lot.

You have those students, who're in business...because their parents are in business and because they want to make a lot of money. You have those students who are in pre-med because their parents are doctors and they want to make a lot of money. Very rarely you get the student who is truly passionate about they do.
Okay, maybe I'm making it sound worse than it is. Or maybe I'm just weird. But the thought of how much money I would make never even crossed my mind when I was thinking about possible careers. I thought about the possibility of making a living, which eliminated dancing from my list of options, but making a lot of money wasn't even a consideration. Maybe that's why I'm in Student Affairs...

But seriously, isn't it so much more important to be doing something that you love? Something you feel passionate about? Something where you want to read the literature even when you had a 14-hour work day and should really be going to bed.

Okay, so I made fun of my dad when he'd read all his science magazines (he's a physics teacher) or answer a simple question of "how do I turn on the VCR?" with a lecture about the physical concepts that make the VCR work. Yeah, I thought he was a nerd.

But now I get it. Now I'm that kind of person, who comes home from work and picks up a magazine or reads an online newsletter that's work-related. You know, I actually miss grad school. I miss being forced to read articles and books. I miss having heated discussions with classmates about current issues. I miss having the close guidance and supervision of my boss.

As a grad student, you get all the attention. You have your faculty that wants to help you learn and grow. That constantly challenges you or encourages you to challenge yourself. You have your supervisors, who closely watch everything you do and tell you what you could do better or differently.
Then you get to the professional level and suddenly you're out on your own. Your supervisor only checks in with you during one-on-ones...you're trusted to make important decisions on your own. Don't get me wrong...I love being able to do my own thing; I like being trusted; I like running my own building.
But so often I ask myself: Am I doing a good enough job? What could I do differently? How can I challenge myself so that I will grow as a professional?
So much time of your daily routine is taking up by taking care of the basic necessities of your job that there's barely any time for learning, for professional development and growth. Just by doing what I consider being the minimum, I can work 14-hour days...so where do I find the time to do all the other things I want to learn about?

I'm the RHA Co-Advisor this year...again. And I just LOVE working with RHA.
ResLife is definitely me (yeah, I'm a ResLifer and I'm proud of it)...but I also have a thing for Student Leadership. Is there anything better than seeing these students grow into confident leaders?

We started having meetings for the upcoming regional conference (no, I won't tell you what region or you may figure out where I'm at...haha). So the meetings start at 10 p.m. I generally just rush there after my last advising appointments...after a LONG and draining day. Many of my friends are like, "Wow, that sucks. You have meetings that late?"
Yeah, it's late. But I don't care. I actually look forward to those meetings all week. (Okay, yeah, I'm really weird...LoL.) I spend more time laughing and enjoying myself at those meetings than I would sitting at home in my apartment and relaxing.
so we may have drama at RHA...what student organization doesn't...but we also have a lot of fun and passion for what we do. I can relate to those students. Sometimes, with my residents, I just want to shake them and be like "Wake up! What are you doing!?!?" But with the RHA Exec Board, I see myself in them...I see my friends in them...and I see their great potential and want to get to know them even better because they simple amaze me.

Okay, I just totally got sidetracked daydreaming about RHA. Has that ever happened to you? I don't even remember how I got started on this topic...

Oh yeah, so...well, I've been thinking a lot. We have a learning community that's the "leadership" learning community. Maybe I should ask about moving there next year. I don't dislike my residents...and my RAs are great...but I do feel a little out-of-place at times with all this talk about going to the rec and eating healthy (well, what can you expect from the Health Enhancement & Lifestyle LLC?). What's even scarier is that people don't just talk about it...they actually GO TO THE REC. I mean, I've thought about it...I have even talked about working out...but that's about as far as it goes for me. I can take a dance class...I can go running for like a week before I get sick of it...but working out every day? That's just not me.

You know, sometimes I worry I don't have as much time for RHA this year as I'd like to. I don't really feel like I've made that connection with many of the leaders that I had with the exec board last year. The conference prep meetings are definitely helping because we get a chance to chat and laugh...and I think they get to see a different side of me. But I just don't feel like "Advisor of the Year" material right now and I hate not living up to my own expectations. There's just so much to do...oh, I could come up with a million excuses. But it doesn't change the fact that I don't feel like I'm giving 100 percent and it upsets me. I keep telling myself that next semester I'll be able to work with them more...once advising season is over...but will it be too late???

I also worry about not having enough time to support my staff. I had all these goals and plans at the beginning of the semester and right now I'm just trying to make it through the days and get the bare minimum done of what needs to happen. Why is there always so much to do?
Everyone else keeps telling me that I'm doing a great job...but I wanted to do so much more...

Alright, now I'm just rambling. It's clearly time for bed.

Oh and on a side note: I finally get to move into my new apartment. Yes, the apartment that was supposed to do be done on August 1st. ;) You gotta love ResLife.
You can't even imagine how excited I am to finally start decorating...and not to live out of boxes anymore. Yay!!!