Learning to Fly - Post 17

Quote of the Day:
"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."
- Jimi Hendrix


In Student Affairs, we talk a lot about learning and growing, not just when it comes to our students but also ourselves; from professional development opportunities to conversations with your supervisor about how to best prepare for your next position.
And while I think this is a great and wonderful thing about our field, it can also be very frustrating and annoying when it isn't done right.

Let me explain.

We often have to submit these "preference" sheets/letters. If it is for placements for the following year, committee assignments, and so on. But in the end, it's not our decisions where we'll be placed or what committees we get to serve on. I understand that from an administrative point, there's no other way of assigning these things...and of course, you'll never be able to make everyone happy...but what bothers me is the way these decisions are sometimes made.

I don't think I'm really explaining this well, so let me try with a specific example...
I've spent a lot of time thinking about committee assignments for next semester. Many returning staff members will want to chair committees. And so should I...after all that's one of those experiences that you should get when you work in ResLife, right? But I also want to continue working with RHA and I know that I'll never be allowed to do both because both are a big time commitment.
Now, I know they need to take into consideration what other staff members want - maybe give a new person a chance - I understand all that. But I get frustrated when I get the feeling that people want to force me to chair a committee because they think it'll be the better professional development opportunity for me and it'll supposedly be better for me in the long run.

This hasn't really happened yet (although some comments have been made) and part of it is just my own paranoia. But similar things happened in grad school. I was assigned to a specific residential area because I was told it'd be the better professional experience for me. But it was an area that I had no interest in; so I spent an entire year being miserable; and then even had a hard time finding the kind of jobs I was looking for because I had the wrong kind of experience.

I appreciate that supervisors and other mentors have more experience and want to share that with me. I appreciate their concern about my professional development. But I also believe that my professional development should be MY CHOICE. It's my life afterall (Okay, now I sound like a four-year-old...haha).
But seriously: Point out to me why you think the other experience may be better for me. Question me why I want to do certain things. But don't give me something I didn't want and then tell me you did it because it was best for me. If you need me there, put me there...but at least me be honest and tell me that it was because it was the best for the department. I'll have a much better attitude about something, if I know that it was just something that had to happen for the better of the department or institution than if I feel like you're forcing your opinion on me, that you're babying me and telling me what's best for me. Maybe it'll make you feel better, as you're not giving me what I want, to pretend that it was best for me...but in my mind, that's just chickening out.
Yeah, so maybe I don't always know what's best for me...maybe I'll regret some of the choices I made years later. But at least, if I was the one who made the choice, the only person I can be mad at is me. But if you forced me to do something and told me you did for because "it was best for me," I'm just going to resent you, be bitter and frustrated.

So let me live my life; it's my life afterall.