The Student Affairs New Professional

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Tryin' to Get Paid-Post 12

Post 12 from Tryin' to Get Paid

Yeah, it's been a while since I last wrote, but when you have to handle some campus crisis and take students to a conference, you get a little busy. Plus, I've had the flu, and that really kicked my behind. But, through all of this, I'm trying to keep my head held high. Some of my colleagues have really helped me through these past few weeks, and I'm really appreciative, whereas others probably haven't realized that I still work here (that's another discussion, which I might dive into in this post).

But, I have two things to rant about. Positive first!
1) I sat in my first class here, just to get the student experience. I met a professor in History, had coffee, realized he was a huge ally for multiculturalism, and he offered me an open invitation to sit in his seminar. Since I finally had time, I went and observed. Wow. First, the dialogue in his Critical Race Theory course was so deep, I was moved by what was said. One kid brought up a theory correlating Marcus Garvey's movement to move back to Africa to his espoused thoughts of facism. And, these students were using words and phrases I never heard of. I had to go back to my office and look in the dictionary to find the meanings of the words these students were saying. It gave me a deeper sense of what the "liberal arts" education really means, and gave me a different perspective of what a college class is like, since mine were vastly different. I think I'll keep going, with my friend Webster's in tow. Plus, I had Hmong food for the first time. Our school has a new Hmong student club, and as their advisor, I was invited to their celebratory cook-out. I brought an ice-cream cake to celebrate, and everyone had a good time.

2) I finally realized, after a while, that I work with an interesting bunch of professionals, and the dynamic I'm in poses so many challenges. For info's sake, I work with three other professionals and two graduate students. I am the only person of color and one of two males in our unit. The other man and myself went to state schools (um, more like "Moo State U" for our rural locales) out of state, whereas the women went to the same graduate program at the local Catholic university. I am the first in my family to achieve a higher education (master's or bachelor's), whereas the women are not. There are so many other factors that come into play, and when a crisis occurs, it makes conflict more interesting. We've had discussions on race and ethnicity, and my colleagues and I are on two completely islands. I tried to let them know the life is kinda different for a person of color (from my perspective)and about privledge (you know, the things we learned in our grad programs), but I might have been too strong in my conversations, because now nobody wants to talk about it. Part 2 continued below...

With our campus crisis that occured a couple of weeks ago, I was the first staff member to be informed by students, conduct some intelligence gathering, and pass it on to the appropriate personnel. This event crossed soooooo many boundaries (which I cannot divulge) that really affected a good portion of the student body. And when many come to my office and tell me moving stories, it takes a toll...and when I try to talk to my colleagues about it, I don't get a lot of sympathy or feedback. My supervisor has been wonderful during this situation; he has given me the space to vent, cry, and just talk. However, with everyone else, they just kind of walk past my office and don't even bother a wave or a nod. It's like I'm not even here.

I could be bothered by the "silence", and wonder if I'm acting like a professional, or whether I should let this situation roll off my back like water on a duck. I guess it's a challenge that I, as a new professional, has to face. I guess it takes time to repair relationships, and all I'm tryin' to do is give space and pause, and hope things get better.

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